Monday, August 24, 2009
Okay, so it has been 2 months since I have blogged. I know, I know, I have commitment issues. I'm working on it. As for right now:
I am 1 day, 19 hours, and 30 Mins away from school starting. Not only school starting, but, my BABY starting Kindergarten. All day...away from me...by himself (read MYSELF!!). Alone, at home, by myself for the first time in....(hold on using the calculator to figure this out....) OMG, 12 years. I am super excited, but sad at the same time. It is a new experience to have all day with no children. I have had loads of people ask me what I am going to do with myself all day. I have tons of stuff to catch up on! 12 years of house work to catch up on, 12 years of self care to see to, not to mention all of usual things that just keep on rolling. Football practice, Dance Class, parent meetings, doctor appointments, grocery shopping, blah, blah, blah....Yeah, I think I'll still be busy.
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Okay, I know I sound like I am feeling sorry for myself....and maybe I am, but I am also going to use this as a catalyst to really get moving on to a better self. On a positive note, we walked a lot in the past two days, and, I didn't die! I actually enjoyed it, except for the knees that hurt at the end of the day. But they haven't fallen off yet, so, yeah me!
Okay, this is what I am up to this week:
Walking...at least 3 out of 7 days. A little bit further each time I walk.
Drinking water....and nothing else if I can manage it.
Eating....Protein, Protein, Protein. Less carbs over all.
Think I can do it?? I do.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
This is from May of 2008, but still hold true today.
I have never really been good at keeping a journal, online or otherwise. I am kind of lost as to what to do or say. I also have a fear that nobody cares what I think. (Which is actually okay, but still a fear of mine.) But there have been things running around in my mind, and I think a Personal Journal is the place to...well...spew them, for the lack of a better definition. I've been trying to figure out the differences in my time last summer with Kimkins compared to I am doing now. I know all the differences are not just with what I am eating. It has to do with my attitude, and my preparedness. I was so focused (maybe too focused) on what I was doing - so intent on NOT getting it wrong. I had food prepared for the week in advanced. I knew the "lists" by heart, I had the attitude that I was going to make it happen. I'm not sure what happened after Kimkins. I know my attitude towards food is different. I am more in fear of it. I am afraid of bad things happening to me if I follow the wrong path again. Last time I was lucky(???) I only lost some hair, had some dizzy spells, bled for three months straight. But, (sadly) I do have a secret desire to do Kimkins again, but am terrified at what could happen. Heck, I haven't even figured out what happened the first time. How was I so gullible to believe that my body could survive and not start to rebel at 500 to 800 calories a day?? I feel so stupid. And, how did I ever manage to get that low? I love food, but somehow, my mind tricked my body into "not needing" it. I look back at my FitDay entries now and am SHOCKED at how little I was eating on a Daily Basis. And I was so proud of it. (I say that with disgust in my voice.) What was wrong with me? And how do I now fix me? I am struggling to find a happy medium. Enough food to feel good, but not enough to feel stuffed. But little enough to lose weight, but not so little I harm myself. See what I mean...I have learned a tremendous amount in the last eleven months, but putting it into practice is totally different. I have learned that starving myself (while not feeling it.) could kill me. I have learned that eating a traditional Atkins diet is a great way for me to maintain my weight, but I have yet to unlock the secret of how to re-activate my weightloss. Finding Balance on the Thin Line Between Too Little and Too Much. That is my mission, I pray I find success.
Sooooo, there you have it. Why I am trying to find my balance. And why it is difficult.
My next step will be changing my foods. Going low carb is what I am going to be successful at, so I will be moving that way. I am going to be doing a lot of reading, and self testing, to find the foods that are best, and worst, for me to eat. I want to be able to have melon and berries, and still lose weight. What works for one person, may or may not, work for another. I am going to figure out what works for me.
Another thing I am going to do is change the name of my blog. I am going to switch it to "Finding Balance on a Thin Line." This has to do with a journal post I made at Jimmy Moore's Livin' La Vida Low Carb Discussion Forum. I will be switching the name and re-posting that post, to help explain. I am still looking for that balance, hopefully I will find it, and move forward.
Wish me luck!
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I am feeling much better mentally, and we (I say we, I mean my crazy Dr!) have just made an adjustment on my meds that should get me where I need to be. So I am hoping that soon, I'll have all my ducks in a row and can commence with the losing of the weight.
So that being said I am going to post more about random stuff that catches my eye. Like this:
My cool blog friend Amy over at Meh posted this, and I thought I'd give it a try.
The guidelines:1. Respond and rework. Answer the questions on your blog, replace one question you dislike with a question of your own invention; add a question of your own.
2. Tag eight other un-tagged people.
What is your current obsession? Facebook. I am forever taking quizzes and playing Mafia Wars. Speaking of which, feel free to joing My Mafia.
Good fika place? (That would be coffee to us non-Swedes) Umm, coffee is Yuck to me. But I have friends who love Dunkin Donuts.
Do you nap a lot? Very often, 4 kids, 3.5 cats, 2 dogs, and a hubby who wakes up early make a girl tired.
What’s for dinner? Matt and I had Bacon and Omelets, Shane made scrambled eggs for the kids, but Livi and Owen didn't want any, so they didn't have any dinner.
What was the last thing you bought? Milk last night at 8:45.
What are you listening to right now? Dora the Explorer and Owen chatting away.
What is your favourite weather? cool and sunny.......with a good breeze. Like in the fall, when the trees are beautiful colors and the sun still warms you.
What’s on your bedside table? A bunch of books, my C-Pap, magazines....I think that is it.
Say something to the person/s who tagged you. Amy you are an awesome REAL woman with incredible humor and personality.
If you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you want it to be? I don't know, whould I be able to live there forever? I so, someplace safe and fun with great schools for my kids.
Favourite vacation spot? I love Minneapolis, and the Mall of America. It is a very cool city.
Name the things you can’t live without. My Kids and Hubby, My friends, My books, My Pictures.
What would you like to have in your hands right now? Money, lots and lots of money.
What is your favourite tea flavour? Chamomile or English Toffee Dessert Tea. Yum-O.
What would you like to get rid of? Depression, excess weight, debt, worry lines, stupid people.
If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go? The ocean.
What did you want to become as a child? A chef. I loved to cook, I still do.
What object can you look at, and smile, and feel yourself relaxing? (This is my question) Fish Tanks. They just zone me right out! The ocean also calms me.
What are you reading right now? Blogs, mostly, and a lot of facebook.
What's your favourite brand of jeans. Anything that my fat ass fits in.
Wat designer piece of clothing would you most like to own (new or vintage)? None really, what would I do with it here in the sticks?
I tag: You. Do it. And don't forget to join my mafia!
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
I think it is all in the planning. Which, Obviously, I am not really good at. I could give a million and one excuses as to why I am having a hard time, but, they are all just excuses. Wanna hear some...Here goes (in my best "you want cheese with the whine voice"):
The kids are just so busy, that I don't have time to slow down and keep myself on track...
I'm too tired at the end of the day to make a good meal...
It is just easier to eat what everyone else in the house is eating...
I just don't have the support at home that I need to make this work...
How do you like these so far? I even have a bunch as to why I am not getting exercise. Usually they have to do with road conditions and achy body parts...God Bless Vermont winters!
Have I failed? No, I refuse to think that way... I heard a great quote that says "You have only failed when you quit trying". (my apologies to whom ever wrote/said it, I couldn't remember who it was.) And I am not done trying yet.
My other favorite is by Thomas Edison who said "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work." So far I am on way number 4 that won't work....I still have a lot of attempts, right!
So, I am going try to get back to posting every day. I may or not have pictures every day, 'cause sometimes, the headache of getting all my equipment to function is enough to send me to the loony-bin! But I will try to be more regular, and hand out my blog address to more people. Maybe that will help.
Bedtime now (yippee!)
Catch ya on the flip side.
Friday, February 13, 2009
As for my meals yesterday, here is what went down:
Pork Rinds, and a Cheese Stick for breakfast.
Another Cheese Stick for a snack.
Two Nathan's Brand Cheese Hotdogs for lunch, and only 1 carb each!
Then I went a realllllllyyyyy long time before I ate again, and I only ate then because I knew that I has not had enough calories. So I had some low carb Sloppy Joe's that I had made for the kids the other night. Pretty yummy.
Then to finish out the day I had some Romaine Leaves with Ranch Dip. I LOVE dip, and if it didn't have so many carbs, I'd put it on everything!
Today's (2/13/09) Foods
NOTE TO SELF #2 - Taking pictures of Bacon Double Cheese burgers, while driving, is not only a stupid idea, it makes for a terrible picture! Sorry about the picture quality. But this is one of the pictures I of the 2 BDCB I ate this morning.Then, again after several hours, I had to eat again, so I ate some steak with the kids.
I am sure there is more to write, but just now, I am falling asleep, as I am typing. So I'll check everything out int the morning.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Greek Turkey Meatballs with sour cream to dip in.
Egg "stuff". Hard boiled eggs, turkey sausage, cheddar cheese, and butter all chopped and warmed up. Very homey/comforting.
More Turkey Balls and sour cream. Yep, the are just that good.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Turkey Sausage for breakfast,
2 Slim Jim thingies for a snack.
Tuna made with mayo, cream cheese and celery with a mozzerella ball for lunch.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Breakfast: Turkey Sausage, celery stuffed with goat cheese. (Hey! Don't wrinkle your nose at me, it is really yummy.)
Snack: A super delish Chocolate (sugar free, of course!) Bar, by Maine Cottage Foods it was so freakin' good. It is only 1.1 oz, but, it felt like the perfect size. Sadly, it was my last one. *pout*.
Lunch: Taco Mess. Included was Taco Meat, Cheese, Guacamole, and Sour Cream.
Ugly, yes, but very tasty and filling.
Dinner: One Lamb Patty, One Bison Patty, and a Greek salad (alas, no bacon!)
I'm nice and filled for the night.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Breakfast: 1 mozzarella ball with garlic powder and salt. 3 egg omelet with cheese, turkey sausage. (why turkey sausage? you ask, just 'cause I like it like dat!)
I'll start with yesterday, because it is still in my head.
Breakfast was pork rinds, celery and dip
First Snack was a cheese and garlic sausage
Lunch was a grinder picked apart and put in a low carb tortilla, then the innards of another.
Another snack was rolled prosciutto and mozzarella cheese
Dinner was Greek Turkey Meatballs.
Friday, I made the mistake of going grocery shopping when I was H-U-N-G-R-Y. I was only slightly hungry when I got there, but by the end, I was ready to chew my own arm off. I went to Wendy's and ate the innards of two Baconators.
While I was at Wendy's I got myself a grilled Chicken Caesar Salad for later.
For dinner I had some baked garlic and cheese sausage.
Here are the pictures of some of Saturdays foods:
Thursday, February 5, 2009
I am hoping tomorrow will be a better day.
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Breakfast: Pork Rinds w/ Garlic Garlic Dip
Lunch: 3 oz Tuna with 1 oz Cream Cheese and 1 oz Mayo 3 oz raw green beans
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
100 grams of fat
23 TOTAL carbs, (about 16 net)
116 grams of protein
(In case you are wondering how I get my totals, I am keeping track of my foods on Fitday.) Here is what I ate today:
Breakfast - 3 egg omelet, 1.5 oz cheese, 3 strips of bacon and 12 oz of English Toffee Tea with Liquid Splenda. (In the picture you will see 4 bacons, but I had to share with my boy, Benj, who was home "sick" today.)
Lunch- 4 oz deli Turkey with 2 Tbs Garlic Garlic Dip
Snack- 1 oz pork rinds with the GG Dip I had left over from lunch
Dinner - 5 leftover bacon wrapped scallops, 2 oz raw broccoli, 6 oz raw green beans, 2 Tbs GG Dip. (See. Veggies!)
I did choose too have a bigger breakfast today, and I am glad I did, I felt more satisfied for longer.